MissKelsee

That Old School Back & Forth.

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:17:49 GMT

You had to run,
you had to hide,
you ran to me,
locked down inside.

I'm sick of secrets
and sick of saints
this bland weather
has got me kissing the rain.

Wash me away
cause I'm waiting to be swept off of my feet.
These feet are waiting to lose some ground.
Won't you wash me away?

I had to run,
I had to hide,
I ran to him,
open and comfortable enough.

I'm sick of confusion
and sick of doubt
these lying hearts are feeding me so much bullshit.

Wash me away
cause I'm waiting to be swept off my feet.
That old school back and forth,
it leaves you with nowhere to go.

Three Cheers For My Three Boys, 3.

Sun, 24 May 2009 18:35:00 GMT

You never let me catch my breath.

Each time I ready myself to fill my lungs,
you stop me short all over again.

Maybe it's the fact that you never cease to amaze me.
Maybe it's because you don't even have to try.

Your words erase my worries,
they are graceful enough to kill sweetly,
I would endure a death so beautiful,
so eagerly.

I don't know you like I wish I knew you.
I never got the chance to slip into your life,
but I slipped into your heart,
and you slipped into my memory.

I miss you now,
and I think I might love you.

Three Cheers For My Three Boys, 2.

Sat, 02 May 2009 01:56:36 GMT

You never gave me yourself.

Why I didn't deserve you.
Why I couldn't have you.
Why you wouldn't budge.

I guess those things are hard to communicate when you simply cannot,
feel.

But I did feel.
I felt for you.
I feel for you.

Does it bother you when your lack of feelings
tend to create more of them in me?

It bothers me,
but we can't talk about it,
it'll make you feel too...weak.
No,
it'll make you weak,
because you can't feel weak when you can't feel.

I'm weak.
I'm weak because I care about you.
If that's the price,
I'm paying it.

When I tell you that I love you,
I don't think you understand what I mean.

To you,
an I love you is a trap,
a way of getting you attached,
of pulling emotion out of you forcefully.

To me,
it's more like a speech of everything I can't
say because you wouldn't know how to reply,
and you might not even get it.

I'm sorry that I confuse you,
that I hug too much,
that I compliment your smile
and the way you take care of me,
that I always ask you how you slept,
and if you've eaten enough.

But I will never be sorry for loving you.

Never.

And I'm sorry if that's hard for you to accept,
but it's how I feel.

I told you that I care so much that it keeps me up at night,
that's an understatement.

Three Cheers For My Three Boys, 1.

Sat, 02 May 2009 01:30:42 GMT

You never gave me a reason.

What I did to push you away.
What I didn't do.
What she did.

I'm not sure if it was something I could have seen coming,
or something so spur of the moment that I couldn't have noticed,
couldn't have guessed,
couldn't have stopped it.

You.
You were fine on your own.
I knew that.
I could tell.
She couldn't.

I didn't know that she was pulling you in.

If only I had a sign,
some sort of warning message,
anything thrown into my face to recognize the situation.

Maybe I did have a sign,
but I was too wrapped up in you to even see it.

She.
She was like a virus that slips into your system
when you think you're safe and clean.
I should've known.
You should've seen it.
She should've picked someone else.

If only I had figured it all out sooner.
I would've never brought you into her infection zone.

I.
I cared even though you didn't have the time to.
Just like she never did.

It's been months and I can't tell you that I don't hate you.

Because I do.

I hate you.

I hate you as much as I've grown to hate her.

I'm Lost, Do I Want To Be Found?

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:03:19 GMT

You make me lose it.

I'm not a hundred percent sure exactly what it is,
but whatever it may be,
you make me lose it.

LOST.
Flying out of my open mouth,
slipping out of my ears,
oozing out of my every pore,
it's gone.

A sentence,
a nervous flirtation,
a scattered conversation,
a word.

Even just a word,
and it all goes out the window.

All I can think about is you.
The way your eyes are so deep and depthless,
your smile so genuine and meaningful,
your crush so childish and butterfly filled,
your care so sweet.

Why can't I stop?
I'm falling into you when I haven't gotten up from the last one.

Broken-Spined Yoga Time.

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 21:41:07 GMT

Home
10:33 am
Woke up for the 4th time, and I still have to pee. Too bad I can't get up without waking the beast on the other side of the room. If I go now she'll sure turn over and slash my eyes out or something equally painful.

10:35 am
Sliding as slowly as possible off the air matress. I swear, if I even breathe in too fast the entire matress squeals.

10:39 am
Beast is already awake, which means I finally get to pee. Hurrah! There is justice!

11:01 am
Back at the computers looking at anything just to keep myself entertained. Carmen is searching through youtube.

11:03 am
Get disturbed by man love on some video Carmen uploaded. It was so unexpected. All the licking and such. Ew.

11:04 am
I may be stained for life.

2:45 pm
Zombie Movie Marathon begins! I am so excited that I found something to do that avoids any work getting done.

2:55 pm
This is boring. I've seen these movies about a hundred times each and to be honest with you, they are vair lamee.

3:00 pm
But I 'spose I can deal with it.

3:30 pm
Yeah...It would be nice if Mr. Matthew would talk to me. He keeps disappearing and it's bothering me. After all, he is the only thing that keeps my mind off of Mr. Yummy.

3:33 pm
Does that make me a thought slut?

3:35 pm
But, I mean, it's not like I chose to have my thoughts on two different men. In which case, it doesn't count, and I'm not mind cheating on both of them....right?

3:38 pm
Maybe I've got it all mixed up.

3:50 pm
And who ever said that your thoughts had to be on one person and that person alone? I mean, isn't that physically impossible? Unless you're some crazed and obsessed stalker man, I doubt anyone could focus on just one human.

3:54 pm
But, in a really distant way, only not so distant, I'm using Mr. Matthew as a decoy dummy for Mr. Yummy. Only, I'm not meaning to.

3:55 pm
At least I don't think I am.

3:57 pm
Is it so bloody wrong that he makes me forget about Mr. Yummy? After all, Mr. Yummy did pick a freakin side-tumor over me, which not only makes him a suicidal maniac, but also a total jerky thing. Therefore, if Mr. Matthew helps me push him aside with amnesia of the heart, then I say let it be.

4:00 pm
It's been like 3 days since Mr. Yummy even spoke to me. How naive can you get? He tells me he misses me and then doesn't do anything about it! He must seriously have elves bouncing around in his skull, because there is no brain in there.

4:04 pm
And apparently he has no heart either, because I miss him and he doesn't seem to care.

5:00 pm
No one is online. Pooey. Since when are people not sucked into technology? I need some entertainment.

5:32 pm
Mr. Matthew is probably too busy canoodling with his little ex to talk to anyone. Apparently he misses her and everything that happened was his fault. He told me he was over it...

5:33 pm
Oh I bet she's totally raping him right now! Or hacking his myspace and deleting all the women she can get her grubby hands on! How I hate ex girlfriends so much!

5:35 pm
Or they could be on a date.

5:40 pm
I think I've given myself an eye twitch.

5:50 pm
I really must get away from all this male species nonsense, it's going to send me right into the wacky shack.

Discovering Feeling.

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 23:18:23 GMT

I feel it in my mind,
right below the temples,
spot on,
spot where,
all my windows close too tightly
to let in the scent of you.

I can tell myself I don't want you,
but words could never cover up the truth.

This heart is no hugging vessel.
I don't feel it pump for you.
In fact,
these butterflies I am meant to feel
are logically impossible.

My feelings are not being felt on my own skin.

Instead, I can only feel you.

Deserve The Worst, Expect The Best.

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 19:02:51 GMT

Home
11:08 am
Someone is on my roof. Whoever it is woke me up, and I have half a mind to push them off. I hope they land on the sharp bush with all the lizard familes in it. Then they can poop on him in a scared frenzy.

11:11 am
It's my dad. He's nowhere in the house and I can hear the blower. He's actually blowing the leaves off of our roof. Like they shouldn't be there even though we live under a canopy of trees. Geez, some people really don't have much common sense.

11:30 am
I don't understand exactly what happened last night. I feel like I wasn't all together there, even though I didn't drink, and I wasn't high. Unless I don't remember that part either?

11:31 am
Nonsense. The main point is that we talked after he tried to push an unknown man into my house and then he stopped replying.

11:34 am
So what does that mean?

11:36 am
He could have fallen asleep, since he was pretty tired.

11:38 am
Or his side-tumor called him and was all "Honeykinns, let's talk until the early hours of the morning because I love you, like, love, love you. I love you as much as I love being a pretentious pratty little girl with no good qualities and the personality of a pebble."

11:39 am
Oh wait, that is what I would say about her. Oops.

1:27 pm
Alex texts me to tell me that he fell asleep. Thanks love, but you're the wrong boy. Why must everything be so topsey turvey? It's like the universe is playing mind games with me. Next thing you know my sister is going to strut into the house playing with a knife and calling herself Bryce err something.

1:30 pm
Which would disturb me even more so than I already am. And I would need an additional year of therapy added on to the 4 I've gathered up over the years.

1:45 pm
I ask Mr. Alex for a little help with my man troubles. I figure it's the least he can do since he's part of them, but he of course decides to be dramatic and says "Ohh, what now?" He seriously makes me sound like a whore. I bet he tells people that I am an 8 man woman.

1:46 pm
Not like he has any room to talk since his 'how's your father?' has been nominated for an academy award for 'most action of the year'.

1:47 pm
Action that he said he wasn't even interested in.

1:49 pm
That would make him a whore and a terrible actor. That's twice the bs, big shocker there.

1:50 pm
Alex explains the 'trick text' to me. Apparently, it's hard for guys to just text me and start up a conversation, so instead, they resort to texting me about men I don't know dropping in through my window to see me, so that they can talk to me.

1:51 pm
Bollocks. I tell him you can simply say "Hi." and it's much simpler than making up stalker stories for me. He won't take that answer. Suddenly, Alex has become the all-seeing eye and knows everything.

1:52 pm
Not.

1:54 pm
"There's the fear of not getting a text back, or your saying that you're kind of busy. Men don't like being shot down." I inform him that woman don't like being ignored either, and that stumps him.

2:03 pm
If all that Alex said was true, then I am truely at a loss. He cares? He wants to talk? But he won't, because he's araid I don't want to, or I'll just ignore him?

2:05 pm
Bloody hell. That sounds just like me.

2:06 pm
Men are women in denial.

2:07 pm
I think I've just found the biggest secret in the history of the world.

2:10 pm
That does explain man periods. And their mood swings.

3:00 pm
Does that mean I can text him now?

3:01 pm
NO! Of course not, have I totally lost it? I'm the strong one here, I have to resist. If I just text him again,
he'll think I'm too eager. I don't want to be eager, I must be aloof. Aloof pulls you in. Eager just sort of scares you off. Like when a person meets you for the first time and acts like your best friend. Those people make me want to punch them. I doubt I'd like him to punch me.

3:15 pm
No textie, no textiee. I must resist the temptation. Even though he's sweet and young and nervouss. Even though he probably felt like an idiot last night because of the 'trick text' and had his cheeks all blushed over and reddish and thinks I think of him as a loser...

3:16 pm
I have to stop this or I'll be beating myself off of my phone with this laptop.

3:18 pm
Like he was probably beating himself up last night for embarassing himself in front of me. He always was like that. All shy around me, nervous.

3:20 pm
And realllyyy beyond the valley of cuteness.

3:21 pm
HUSH! I can't deal with me telling me how cute he is. I KNOW, ok? I KNOW.

3:23 pm
And now that his hair grew out he's got lovely fringey.

3:24 pm
Shut up me!

3:25 pm
Must think of all his bad traits. In this way, the cons can outweigh the pros, and I can pretend that he's totally not worth my time and move on. So I shall make a list,
Cons of Mr. Yummy;
1. Well, he, erm, he just...

3:26 pm
Oy. I can't think of anything. So much for that plan, because it just crashed, burned, and exploded in an ocean of Mr. Yummyness.

De-Pantsing In The Streets.

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 20:43:03 GMT

Home
5:45 am
Chris Drew wakes me with his little mousey voice. I love you, Drew, but this is uncalled for.

5:46 am
Plus, you so rudely interrupted me whilst I was dreaming of Mr. Matthew and our Mayday Parade datey thingy.

5:47 am
Mr. Matthew wearing a BMTH tee with some little black skinnies. How 'dorable he looked. It made me want to snog him on the spot, the very second I saw him.

5:48 am
Which I did.

5:49 am
It was real nice.

5:50 am
And he tasted like chocolate strawberries.

6:24 am
Waltz into my living room to find my sister laying with her face planted into the cushion and her butt hanging in the air. How nice, that's really what I first want to see in the morning.

Bus
7:12 am
Kids are staring at me. I swear, the brats act like they've never seen an iPod before. Every time I go to change the song their eyes widen. It's like being stuck in a cage with a bunch of bloody owls. Except for the facts that A) It smells worse on the bus and B) At least owls can't talk about each others mommas and pretend to have fully grown junk at age 6.

7:13 am
And people ask me why I don't want children?

School
9:05 am
The talented people who do our morning announcements every day have truely outdone themselves. The little 'mural' that 2nd period made yesterday was hung up behind them. It is a unicorn dancing on a rainbow. With little bears parachuting down with huge smiles on their hairy faces. It looks like gay pride day at the town square.

9:09 am
He did it. He actually managed to talk the camera man into whispering 'gay unicorn' into the microphone. Good grief, we'll never hear the end of this now. He'll surely expect some sort of medal.

9:10 am
With a little golden unicorn on top.

9:11 am
And little dancing panda bears with polka dotted parachutes.

9:12 am
I'd have to make the plaque say "Excelled in Gayness".

1:30 pm
Fake Frenchie is droning on and on about other people's sexual lives. Why? Because she's a nosey little prick. Everything she says feels like knives being stabbed into my ear drums. It doesn't help that it's all mindless dribble. Things like "That's like my new favorite word, ronchy. It's just like, so fun to say." Honestly, how do people like her not get slapped and thrown into the waste basket when they are born?

1:32 pm
Maybe I could do us all a huge favor and throw her into a dumpster somewhere. Then no one would have to hear her ancient stories about France and her disgusting ex boyfriends.

2:35 pm
Stoichenometry. Chloride, Chlorate, Chlorite. I was not ready for this little testy, not in the least. What was the percent yield again? Like, x-y+w times the square root of homo? Oh, I don't know. But I do know that I have no service, and if Mr. Yummy tries to talk to me, I won't even know it.

2:38 pm
I wonder what he's up to at the moment. Probably off on some ledge purring like a fiend and washing his whiskers.

2:39 pm
What a sight that would be. He could even draw himself a little pinkey nose. I bet he'd look creepy and cute at the same time.

2:40 pm
Wait, how did he get in here? I'm worried about Chemistry and therefore do not have the time to be letting my mind wander off into Yummy land, home of Mr. Yummy and his irrisistably annoying yummyness.

2:41 pm
Right, so...where was I again? Percent yield, yes, that was it. Percent yield= the actual amount of cuteness that his face gives off divided by the normal amount of cuteness given off. So that would be quite a lot more.

2:43 pm
I am going to fail this test. Not one question asks me how cute Mr. Yummy is. Not one.

2:47 pm
Not even in the multiple choice! It was all about real sciene, I mean, what load of bollocks is that?

Bus
3:45 pm
All the windows have been pried open and are free to bring in all sorts of things. Bugs, leaves, dirt, midgets, etc. All of them are free to get trapped under my eyelids. Why must they do this every day? If it's really that hot then I'll gladly throw them out the window, and they can enjoy the breeze before they land.

4:10 pm
I might as well just turn my phone off, since Mr. Yummy and his jerkyness isn't going to come back for more quality Kelsee time. You just wait, give it a few days, errr...weeks, and he will be begging me to talk to him, so that his life will not be so dullish. And full of grossy people who like to tell him that he's a satanic faggot with a bad hair cut.

5:55 pm
Matthew isn't making things better, him being gone so much. I mean, if he were around more, I might even forget all about Mr. Yummy, since Matthew is so much sweeter. Plus, he's mixed, and that gives him an exotic vibe.

6:00 pm
But Mr. Yummy is just so.....err....yummy?

6:01 pm
Goodgod. I am starting to sound like a twit.

6:02 pm
A shallow twit at that.

8:14 pm
The solution has landed! Mr. Matthew must simply drop everything and move to Georgia. Then, he can go to MCHS, and ask me out. It's all so perfect that I can barely stand it. Especially since I know I wasted all my time thinking it over because it will never happen.

8:16 pm
Even though it should. I'd like to have a Mr. Matthew all to myself. Sounds nice, like the beach in the summer. Or sushi. Yummmm.

8:50 pm
Mr. Yummy is out of my life again. I don't know why it took me this long to realize that I still hate him.

9:00 pm
No movie night with Maddy tomorrow night, which means I am stuck with my dad and his interogation skills for hours on end. Joys. I'll probably make myself go to sleep around 7. At least then I can avoid all the awkward questions about school and the boys who go there, the ones my dad thinks I am sexing up.

9:10 pm
Whatever, maybe I can convince him to go golf or something. Then I can have the whole house to myself and I can sulk around without his beady eyes figuring everything out.

Frozen Whatsits, On Ice!

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 01:55:28 GMT

School

11:18 am
No texties, no texties. It would be very nice times 100 if I could have a little mid-day pick-me-up chat with Mr. Yummy. Too bad I have decided to push him away with my mind and lack of button tapping. I must show him that I do not care if we don't talk, even though I do care, since I have heard that boys love something they cannot have.

11:20 am
Even though, he is the one with a loving girlfriend and I am the one who is single single running 'round with baby makers and what not.

11:21 am
With a crush on a boy who lives in Idaho-ey land er something of that nature.

11:22 am
And no one interesting to flirty with in front of him to make him get all jealous like.

11:24 am
But who said he would get jealous? What if his little side-tumor girlfriend is too busy suckling at his face for him to see me being all touchy swoony with some other dude? At which point I would get all huffy and have to drop said boy toy and have a bit of relaxation exercise behind a chair or something.

11:26 am
And then figure out a way to pry the little bleach blondie leech off of him.

11:28 am
Without letting her suckle on me.

1:00 pm
No textie, no Mr. Yummy. How can I be expected to concentrate on Lord of the Flies when my unlovely love life keeps pertruding into my own mind? I can't, that is the answer. Because every sensible person [as in, not Mrs. Snooty] knows that love lives come before literature and it's mind numbing paper work.

1:02 pm
Especially a crap book that promotes canabilism and makes children murderers.

1:04 pm
Yes, that is all very true. In fact, next time one of those bloody stuck up english types wants to talk to me about Lord of the Flies, asking me how it was and what not, I know how the convo will play out.
Stucky-Upy English Prof: By George! Did you fancy reading that lovely-eth book Lord of the Flies...eth?
Moi: Did you? And before you answer, think about all the crime in this world, the rape and what not. Have you ever been raped sir?
Stucky-Upy English Prof: Well, actually, when I was a boy..
Moi: Oh, really? Well I am sure that when he was still a little one, he was forced to read Lord of the Flies, and it traumatized him so much, that he grew to be a rapist and child molestor. Therefore, we have Lord of the Flies to thank for all the sexual nastiness and such.
Stucky-Upy English Prof: Well..I...er..does that mean you didn't like it?
Moi: No, I adored it. Especially the part where I burned the book.

Bus
3:18 pm
I really must stop having little peeksies at my cell. Each time I see no new text from Mr. Yummy I feel myself having a little mind glare at that side-tumor gf of his.

3:22 pm
Oleyyy Crap. What shall I do at the party bash thing? I 'spose I could ignore him, but then he might do that thing that he does, when he sits there forever trying to explain who he is until he wears me out and I have to cave in like a concave whatsit.
T: Hey! *attempts hug*
M: *pushes away* Uhmm..hi?
T: It's me.
M: *awkward arm punch*....you.
T: You know, _ _ _ _ _ _.
M: Whomm?
T: Your friend...
M: I am about 100% positivey that I would know you if you were my friend.
T: But you do know me...
M: Ahh, nothing is coming up. Maybe you've got me all mixeded up with some other girly with nice fringe.
T: No...I know it's you. Amy pointed me this way.
M: Amy? Amy?
T: We're at her house...
M: OH, right, THAT one. I was making sure you meant her, the one with the insane child's brain bumbling around in a skirt like thing.
T: Right.
M: So...
T: Are you going to hug me now?
M: I'm sorry dear, but I am afraid I don't hug strange like hobos who wander into my parties.
And so on and so forth, etc, etc, etc.

3:30 pm
Maybe I could do a bit of detective work and go undercover as Amy's bestie Sarjeela er something. I could be the foreign exchange student for some little village in India. I'm sure Lydel would allow me to borrow that little forehead jewelry thing...

3:31 pm
Sarjeela? Really? Oh, how far I have lost it this time. I'm sure someone would notice me indiaing it around and tripping over my backlava or whatever they call that thing. And then someone would say "Hmm, I wonder just where Miss Kelsee is." and then the whole lot would be in a total uproar at my absence, which I cannot let happen.

3:35 pm
It's settled then. I have to go to the party as me.

3:37 pm
Poo on burnt toast, this is never going to work.

9:00 pm
Merde. No, triple merde. It's only like 3 hours from Mr. Yummies bedtime and he hasn't even attempted a little 'ello' or anything.

9:02 pm
He could at least send a text telling me that he won't be texting me anymore, so that I can be forewarned.

9:06 pm
What fresh hell?!?! Why would anyone in their right mind text someone to say that they won't be texting them?

9:08 pm
This will be a long night.

9:10 pm
Full of lusting for Mr. Yummy, and not even my own Mr. Yummy, but someone else's.

9:11 pm
Here I go again being a crushy whore like person.

10:15 pm
LayLay tells me to get some patience. I shall exude shining rays of total virtue and allow Mr. Yummy more time to come into contact with me.

11:00 pm
Screw this, I am going to bed. Goodnight Mr. Yummy, you're a total prat.

I'm Figuring Out The Heart's Intent.

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:43:22 GMT

I've had my heart stop before.

They say that you'll know when you've found it,
because you feel the butterflies floating up your throat,
and your heart will be beating so fast,
that you can't think.

But what happens when you choke on the butterflies
and you feel your heart slow down,
and then,
abruptly hault altogether?

I've had no oxygen before.

They say that 'not being able to breathe' is only an
exaggeration of a certain feeling, but I don't believe it.

But what happens when you feel the air escape your lungs,
and you don't have the strength to pull anymore in?
You sit there, limp, cold, empty, dull, and yet, somehow,
you can still float?

Maybe floating doesn't require oxygen.
Because I think, for me,
it only requires you.
Maybe you're my oxygen,
yeah,
that's it,
You are my oxygen.

I guess then,
that everyone has their own oxygen.
Their own need,
their own form of floating.

My floating starts with the corners of my lips.
They dance up, causing creases in my blushing cheeks.
They don't stop, don't cease until they reach my eyes.
Next goes my mind, floats right out of my head,
right out of me,
so that my heart can be my main train of thought.

My heart won't stop screaming your name,
so I don't get much.

Is that why you see me bite my lip?
Twist my hair?
Playing fingers on twitching thighs?

I'm so nervous,
because words always fail me when I need them the most.
If I open my mouth,
only silence falls out.

If I let my jaw hang,
will you hear my heart cries?
Your title slipping out of my throat without my consent.

My heart doesn't think for me,
it simply throws me into you.

The first flying thought,
floating away,
"Why him?
Why now?"

It never made sense,
never,
never,
until now.

It's you because it has to be.
Maybe that's why I'm a failure at ridding myself of you.
Or maybe...
maybe you're a failure at getting away.

It's nice to think about,
that you can't pull away,
just like I can't push you.

Yeah,
I'll stick with that.

And maybe,
maybe someday,
you'll tell me yourself.

This Is Why We Live For Nothing.

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 04:49:57 GMT

I had a dream that I was happy.
I was happy with you.
You seemed happy.
Happy with me.

I guess dreams are the wishes your heart makes,
because this dream won't leave me alone.

It's sad because I'm only happy in the dream,
when I wake up,
I want to forget it,
forget you,
forget everything and just float.

Maybe if I could float,
past the clouds,
past the atmosphere,
past those twinkley little stars,
I could be somewhere else.

Where?
I haven't a clue.
But somewhere,
yes,
somewhere.

Into another galaxy,
a new world,
a different dimension.

Maybe in that other lifetime,
I'd have a chance to be yours.
A chance to be happy.
Happy with you.
And then you could try being happy with me.

You don't have to like it,
I'd give you chances to leave,
I'm only asking for a chance.

A chance,
a simple try,
so short and to the point,
or else it strings out and I'd hang myself.

Hanging,
it's sort of like floating.
Suspended in air,
held up by nothingness,
cept for the skin.

But what is skin?
Sometimes it feels like a cage that I can't get used to.
A small hiccup in my life plan.

But I don't have one.

Wreaking Havoc On Mind And Heart.

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 00:47:49 GMT

Home
8:30 pm
What does it mean if a guy acts like he doesn't want you with anyone else, but he won't be with you? If he acts like you shouldn't lose your virginity, unless it's to him? Like he's the only guy that he trusts with you?

8:40 pm
It can't be that he wants me. He said he didn't want me.

8:45 pm
Actually, he didn't say anything...

8:47 pm
I've fallen right back into it. Oy.

9:05 pm
If only there were some sort of rain dance that I could perform to rid myself of this whole teen-crushes phase and get right on to the part where I stop caring. That would be rather lovely, and so much less irritating.

Shamefully Shameless.

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 21:35:12 GMT

Saturday, March 28th

Driving 'Bout
3:00 pm
Pulling up in the Ingles parking lot to grab a few groceries for mum. In the pouring rain. The lot is actually flooded. Small children and sewer rats will be floating by soon on little rafts made from leaves and bubblegum wrappers. Why should I have to go get angel hair pasta in the middle of a tsunami? Oh, right, because my mum is a dictator in an apron when it comes to dinner.

3:02 pm
Oh Great Gravy Boat. I open the door and hop under the umbrella with daddio, to see Creeping Creepster, donning a puke green smock thingy, a name tag, and a plastic bag. He was pushing around the carts like an ogre would. When he saw me, he smiled like an idiot. His smile only lasted until my dad saw him and glared with all the intensity in his soul. I'm surprised CC didn't turn into stone and fall to pieces.

3:03 pm
Which would have made my day.

3:04 pm
For an entire year.

3:05 pm
Or a few.

Home
8:45 pm
Flipping through a Cosmopolitan magazine. The 'sex health' part is one of the most hilarious things I have ever read, ever. But it's also awkward. Me and Carmen discuss how people come up with this stuff. I mean, did someone really ask if a crooked 'how's your father?' is normal?

8:46 pm
If they did, that's disturbing.

8:47 pm
And I feel bad for her boyfriend.

Sunday, March 29th

Church
9:31 am
Walking into sunday school, where there are no females, just a diabetic with tourettes, a special ed kid with an afro, and a sex maniac. What a joy I find here. Honestly, why do I even come?

9:38 am
The SM keeps calling my name in this extremely loud annoying voice, like he's trying to whisper and yell at the same time. I can hear it over Heavy Heavy Low Low. And it's loud. But he's louder.

10:12 am
Todd informs me that I'll be stuck passing out bulletins with SM. When he says this, SM throws his arms up in the air and yells "YEAH!" I just lower my head and wish for lightning to strike me dead.

10:13 am
No lightning.

12:30 pm
My body feels like a big fondled thing thanks to SM. I could just throw up.

12:45 pm
Almost did.

Tripping Up The Stairs On My Way Down.

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:28:38 GMT

I told you
"I don't believe in love,
cause it's always been everywhere but here."
You couldn't believe me,
with your love before me,
I was blind to what was true

Take a step back
Looking at me looking to you
My whole life backwards
this is a funhouse but
it's never much fun
cause i'm always running from my own reflection

Forget the ghosts in my closet,
I've got ghosts in my soul
Sick of second hand doubts,
I'm letting this one go

I told you
"I don't believe in the truth,
cause it's never been given to me.
And if I don't trust you,
consider it a compliment."

Take a step back
Looking at me looking to you
My whole world is spinning
like you make it do
this is becoming a joy ride,
but it never brings joy
cause I'm always losing ground

I've got nowhere left to plant my feet
I'm dangling in the oxygen, but I can hardly breathe
Is this what you wanted of me?
I'm holding on to something that I can't see

Take a step back
Looking at me looking to you
You're the reason I've got nothing left to hide
Take a step back,
step back,
one step back
Looking at me looking to you

I told you
"I've got nowhere left to plant my feet."

Nanner-Puss.

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 21:33:26 GMT

Thursday, March 26th

School
12:25 pm
In the hallway, the whole group, just sort of lulling 'bout, since the lunch room is pretty much over run with dirties and such. Fag Face won't stop rubbing his butt on everyone saying things like "Dominate me." No one says anything, we do our best to ignore him we he starts acting like a horny dog, which is basically 24/7.

12:27 pm
Fag Face gets to Boblet, who immediately starts beating him with her umbrella. Every time she strikes him, he screams out "Oh yes! Yes! Oh baby!" He's faking a 'gasm in the middle of the hallway.

12:29 pm
Adrienne stops the proceedings to tell us important news. Apparently we're standing right beside a fully functional senior class. And their window isn't covered. They are staring at us. Staring with big bug-like eyes. And open mouths. And disgust. And a little bit of confusiness.

12:30 pm
I ran. No one followed me.

12:31 pm
Thank God.

2:13 pm
Chemistry. Joking with Starla about her older man and Mr. Asian. We both think he'll go back to Korea and tell his friends that in America, anyone can get laid. Which is pretty true, actually, I mean, we do have hookers and all that. Strippers. Homeless people. Skanks.

2:15 pm
Yelling "Jump On It!" right as Mr. Boosum stops to ask me something. He stares, stares at me like I am an alien. I just sit there, feeling terrible.

2:17 pm
I can't stop laughing. My face is red and I cannot breathe.

Friday, March 27th

School
1:18 pm
Zac Ef. has a new girl. She wants to sex him. They are not dating. What a whore.

1:19 pm
I have informed Zac Ef. that he will get Herpeghannasyphillaids. And that when he does, I will laugh at him, and mock him, in public.

1:22 pm
And I will also tell everyone. Hee hee hah.

2:49 pm
Government 'Mock Trial'. Colon is the defense attorney. His sister is the prosecuter. They can't go a minute without telling the other to shut up, hitting, or making faces. I am on the so-called jury, but we're all laughing so much that we can't take this project seriously. Especially because God knows we're all secretly checking him out.

2:51 pm
It really is terrible how impossible it is to deny his cuteness. Especially when he's up there, being so melodramatic and actor-ey.

2:52 pm
With his tiny stick bug legs. They'd look lovely in a pair of Hot Topic skinnies.

2:53 pm
Throw in some piercings.

2:54 pm
No, he's too pretty for that.

2:55 pm
Stop that.

3:33 pm
I might very well be in love with Alex. He doesn't like me. He doesn't even know how to like, much less, love. Unless he still loves his ex. Even though he really shouldn't. She's so hateful. And clownish.

3:34 pm
A bit like a clown fish.

I Think She Said "Eat My Middle Finger."

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:51:58 GMT

Home
6:12 am
Getting ready for my trip of fielding. I'm a bit worried, as I do not know what to wear. I need new clothes, or pretty soon I'll have to become part of a nudist colony.

6:13 am
Which I would not enjoy.

6:15 am
Especially if someone like Mr. Sausage Link or Jelloid Man joined.

6:17 am
I think I have put myself into shock, or a coma.

Bus
6:47 am
The new bus has broken down again, so we've been stuck with an ancient one that looks like it's been through both World Wars. The seats feel like sitting on old pudding. Old pudding with dead animal wrapped around it.

6:49 am
And the windows don't work. They're all just sort of crooked, with little slits open at the top.

7:02 am
I bet the Emergency door doesn't even work. Grand, then when this bucket of rust flips over due to the fact that Baldie can't drive, we'll all be trapped inside like mice in an old cage.

7:03 am
Unless, of course, the bus evaporates into tiny dust particles.

7:05 am
Which would not surprise me.

School
7:35 am
Arrive to find no one in the lunch room that I know. Just tons of tables filled with black people.

7:38 am
It's rather awkward sitting here. I am dot of vanilla that was accidentally dropped into the bucket o' chocolate.

7:40 am
They keep staring at me. I wonder if they'll attempt at stealing my shoes off of my feet like that guy at Stonecrest.

7:41 am
I'm profiling. I have no reason to be word.

7:45 am
Zac Ef. arrives in an unusual state of glee. Thank god. I thought I was a gonner.

7:46 am
Not that I had anything to worry about.

7:47 am
'Cept for the pain and shoelessness.

8:10 am
These morning announcements seem to run on forever, and they never have much of a point. I just want them to shut up so I can prance off to the mall and forget about algebraic equations and government people who piss me off.

8:12 am
Plus, no Mrs. Smeagul to scramble around in front of me saying things like "Something with which to write" instead of asking us to get out pencils.

8:14 am
Someone asked her why once and she said "Because it's more fun." That shows me so much about her personality, or lack there of.

8:50 am
On the rolling twinkie, headed out of the school parking lot. Farewell to you, O torture chamber of so-called education.

8:51 am
And you, suckish people I don't care to name.

9:37 am
Dancing to 'This is why I'm hot' with Starla. Sadly, still know all the words. And yes, I have got the makings of a rapper. They could call me Kay Vandertrampy.

9:39 am
I'd get shot before I could even get out a single line.

9:40 am
But it would be an interesting way to go.

9:41 am
Screw it. I choose life over my sweet rhymes anyday.

9:48 am
Made it to the theater in one piece. What a shocker. The teachers are holding us in the buses like cattle so they can tell us all the rules.

9:50 am
I can't even hear them because the bus makes this obnoxiously loud humming noise that makes it sound like the entire vehicle is going to implode on us.

10:10 am
In line at the theatre, even though we already bought our tickets. What smart people lead our education system.

10:20 am
The most terrifyingly godawful commercial came on before the movie. Of course it came after all the funny ones, after all the laughing. It never even said what it was about, all I know is it's about some girl named Precious, who was like 500 pounds, and black. It made the entire theatre go silent, except for all the uncomfortable shuffling.

10:21 am
To ease the tension, I told Zac Ef. that I didn't know his girlfriend was an actress. Instead of laughing, he shrugged. I think I might have seen a tear in his eye.

10:22 am
Unless it was just indegestion.

11:39 am
Zac Ef. trying to lay across about 4 seats. All I hear is "shuffle shuffle, scoot scoot, ting ting, shuffle". If he moves again I might have to beat him with my purse.

11:40 am
Or just push him on the floor.

12:09 pm
Tavia must have some sort of fancy for Zac Ef., because she is inconveniently following him around like a sad little special puppy. I bet if he asked her to message the bottom of his shoes with her tongue, she'd do it. Even though, if he asked her too, I'd be pretty sickened. No one wants to see that in public.

12:10 pm
Besides perverts with serious mental issues.

12:12 pm
Like Creeping Creepster.

12:21 pm
Fag Face won't stop staring down my top and saying things like "You really need to cover those up." and asking my friends if I'm wearing a bra. I will never get the male brain, and what's wrong with it.

12:23 pm
Other than it being ludicrously small and crammed full of sex.

12:42 pm
Shopping around. The security guards seem to be on red alert. Every time we happen to pass by one, they get that shifty eye look that is so popular for giving away their suspicion. No wonder these people are mall cops instead of being in an actual law enforcement job. You know, the kind that don't force you to give up all your dignity for a flashlight and a pin on plastic sign of your pathetic work.

12:46 pm
Hot Topic. Almost tackled a hottie while walking in. I probably should be embarassed, but he's much too good looking to keep my mind on my own thoughts.

12:50 pm
Hottie looks half mexican. Here I go again with the bloody half-breeds.

12:51 pm
I should probably quit sneaking glances.

12:52 pm
But I can't look away.

12:58 pm
Big love fest in HT. I'm hugging everyone. I sure hope Hottie isn't stare, I might just appear to be a little on the lezzie side. Which would be unfortunate, unless he has a vagina that I can't see.

12:59 pm
Which is normal. Who walks around with their 'tang hanging out? And I don't count Spears, so please resist the urge to fo there.

1:06 pm
Helping Zac Ef. pick out his newest stalker shades. I sweetly suggest the lovely pink heart-shaped ones, but he pushes them away roughly. Creeping Creepster is standing near by, and, since he is a stalker and a creep, decides that he'll but the heart-shaped ones on for me. How impressive is that? It's as impressive as someone eating a worm, a.k.a., not at all.

1:07 pm
He smiles all crookedly, in a non-attractive way, and starts talking to us. When I ignore him, he just laughs at everything I say, even though it's all to Zac Ef., and not him.

1:09 pm
He's still laughing like a total loonie with those freakin pink shades on. To put away my anger and avoid punching him in the throat hole in public, I try to joke. I glance at them both wearing the shades and simply say "Now hold hands." they throw the glasses down and Zac Ef. sort of hovers off, leaving me with the thing, all alone.

1:10 pm
Leave him as well, and he does this thing where he goes sideways and kind of brushes up against me like you would if you were passing someone in a narrow hallway.

1:11 pm
But we are not in a narrow hallway.

1:12 pm
There are no narrow hallways in Hot Topic.

1:13 pm
Or the rest of the mall.

1:15 pm
So great hell's panties on fire, why would he do that?

1:22 pm
Slipping by Bath & Body Works, where I attack Zac Ef. and Fag Face with girly spray. Zac Ef. whines about not being manly while Fag Face talks about how good it smells.

1:28 pm
In Borders, talking a bit louder than we should. Adrienne asked me to escort her tot he manga section, and I decided to put in "Are you going to buy any porn today?" as a little inside joke. The word porn seemed to bounce off of everything. The lady behind the counter did that gasping thing with the head shake. Why do adults always give me that?

1:30 pm
Oh well, I guess the secret's out.

1:40 pm
Meeting up with Lydel, Boblet, and Lee-ran by the buses. Lee-ran decides to shout out to me "Nice TaTas, Thanks for hanging out!" while my group is till about a mile away. Must remember to kill her when I reach her.

1:55 pm
Going back to school with frowns. Why must they ruin our day with something oh so pointless? Oh, right, they're evil oldies who enjoy our pain.

2:50 pm
Pulling into the parking lot at MCHS, which stands for Mc Crap Hell School.

Dear What's Your Face.

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:50:57 GMT

Home
5:45 am
Didn't hear the alarm go off, much too busy dreaming about Mr. Alex and a kissing extravaganza.

5:46 am
Which does not mean I want to kiss him, as I clearly do not.

5:47 am
I mean, a hug, fine, but a kiss? I think not.

5:48 am
But I am bit curious....what he kisses like. I bet he tastes like yummy.

6:00 am
Double triple merde! Fell back asleep thinking about Alex and his lips, which were made out of gummi worms, which scared me a little. Erm, well, a lot. I mean, wouldn't they melt and get stuck to me? Or some hobo would come 'round and rip them off in a fit of starvation.

6:41 am
Dragging myself onto the bus in all blue, which is odd. Dad is all cheery, like he is, and it bothers me, like it does. I mean, who wants someone all smiley around at 6 in the freakin morning? I shouldn't even be awake. This should be illegal.

7:16 am
Developed a secretive device that allows me to see my ipod, while still hiding it from Mr. Baldie the Nazi of all technological advancements. I simply stick in my jacket pocket and never remove it. It works very well, but I think the kid beside me thinks I've got some sort of treat, because he keeps leaning in and sniffing.

School
7:45 am
Begging for 50 cents to get breakfast. It makes me feel like a resident of the atlanta highway overpass, but I do need it.

7:50 am
Actually, they probably make more money then I do. Begging, cleaning windows, mugging and what not.

7:55 am
Or break dancing in the streets.

7:56 am
I bet they've got money raining down on them. Lucky homeless folks.

8:30 am
Another practice SAT that I do not want to do. It's all eqautions and graphs, which are the absolute worst. I wonder what complete prat made up graphs, so that I can beat him when I die. But, as Mrs. Tourettes would say "They are an important piece to the mathmatical puzzle." Too bad she doesn't know that I have no interest in her puzzling pieces.

9:11 am
Manning has decided to be another annoyance for me today. He thinks he can be an idiotic jerk and still be well liked. Who would believe such a thing? Oh yes, a man who wears hawwaiin tees to school every day when he lives in the deep south, that's who.

9:22 am
Creeping Creepster must really rate my Maddykins, as he came running when he heard her distress over her Chemistry work. He might as well have been riding a fake horse and clanking when he walked, because it was that obvious and pathetic.

9:25 am
At least I get to take my anger out on him and his lack of charm and human traits.

10:18 am
Mr. Sausage Link would probably like us to be working right now, but we hardly ever do that, since he never gives us any sensible things to do. I swear, one day he'll wake up and plan out a rap video about 'sexual harassment in the classroom' and of course, he'll want to be the dirty teacher. Oh poo.

10:22 am
I'll go ahead and take a zero for that. I do have principles, you know.

11: 22 am
French class without Mrs. Bare Ankles is much less dreadful. Instead, we've got Mr. McCray who just sits at the desk, drooling on himself. He's so very exciting. At least we get a laugh, because when you throw things at him, he never wakes, just moves some, and then continues drooling.

11:48 am
Tostito-pants-stuffer has stolen Lady Midge's glasses and refuses to return them. He just keeps looking at his reflection saying things like "I look pretty good in these." and "I am blind and cute." Lady Midge just keeps nodding her head in a 'I'm only nodding hoping you'll shut up and hand them over' kind of way.

11:50 am
I decided to take action. I looked at him all serious-like and said;
"You really ought to give those back to her, since they make you look like a total faggot."
He shuffled awkwardly.
"Really?"
I sighed in a dignified 'I am so wise, and you are a twit' way.
"Yess."

11:51 am
He frowned down to his toe nails.

11:52 am
He gave them back so quick I thought he'd give himself whip lash.

12:07 pm
Eating beside Marina, who is talking about something I don't understand, in a voice that's making me fear for my life.

12:12 pm
Told Adrienne about the weekend fiasco. All she had to say was "Awwwwww" for about a million years, and when she was done she just smiled a lop-sided smile and kept eating her fake meat.

12:13 pm
What's so cute about a fight anyhow? I will never grasp the concept that my friends are all insane, even though I know it's the truth.

12:28 pm
In the hall having a meeting with the crazies. Talking nonsense and nodding a lot.

12:30 pm
Zac Ef. shows up. What a stalker. How could he even find us in this whole campus? I bet he watches through the cameras.

12:32 pm
What a creep. I've gotten him back by stepping on his sacks. Tee hee ha hee haaa.

12:35 pm
Bolting back in to see Manning for a quick siggy. Of course, while I am getting things done, Zac Ef. wanders off with my purse on his shoulder.

12:37 pm
Zac Ef. emerges from the boy's room. Now my Hello Kitty smells like Mexican pee. Magnifique!

1:10 pm
The class is reading another riviting chapter of Lord of the Flies. Fortunately, I read ahead, and so I get to casually stare at everything in the classroom not thinking at all. I bet I look like a strange bimbo, but I can deal with it.

1:35 pm
No Mr. Boosum to make fun of, which is sad [ish]. Instead, some creepy old lady who likes to yell is attempting to teach us. She's rather rude, and knows nothing about science. How nice of them to pick out such a winner.

1:59 pm
Lots of laughter as always. I think Star might be bleeding for all the hitting I have done. At least she knows I do it with loveee. That and hate.

2:11 pm
Sandwhich and her table pal are uber downers. If me and Star were alcohol, they'd be the coffee after the hangover. Yes, it's seriously that bad. In fact, I think she may have told me at one point to 'calm down'. Who says that? Besides pratty little lifeless people, no one, I think.

2:47 pm
More movie in Government, whoever thought the justice system served justice, was tricked and mistaken. I hate these type of things, it only makes me hate the U.S. more, which I did not think was possible.

2:48 pm
Until Obama got elected.

2:50 pm
And killed off tons of babies.

2:52 pm
And decided to push year-round schooling.

2:54 pm
Honestly, why did you people vote for him?

3:06 pm
Does Alex have work today? Even if he does, I should drop in with a hi.

3:08 pm
Ehhh, maybe I should just wait till he gets off work.

3:14 pm
I just can't believe he hasn't gotten it all figured out yet, since I make it obvious for a mute and deaf person.

11:23 pm
Alex knows.

11:25 pm
He's known for awhile.

11:35 pm
All he had to say was "What do you expect me to do about it?"

11:38 pm
Great. I'm an inconvenience. Hopeless. Oh, good grief.

11:45 pm
Goodbye men, I am getting rid of you for good.

11:55 pm
Er, if I can keep it up.

Ups And Downs And Sideways.

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:46:59 GMT

Home
11:00 pm
IMing Alex, who is all testy for some unknown reason.

11:05 pm
Apparently I am the reason.

Midnight
I should be sleeping, but instead, I am up and wide awake with fury and tears to accompany me.

1:30 am
Is it too much to ask someone to feel?

2:41 am
He kissed me.
Alex, kissed me.
Bloody Buddah and tres tres poo-ish.

2:42 am
What does this even mean?

2:43 am
I asked
"What was that for?"
"I honestly don't know."
Gee thanks, that explains everything perfectly for me.

3:15 am
Maybe he was bored and needed something to do.

3:16 am
Or he wanted to.

3:18 am
Yeah right.

3:20 am
At least he apologized for it. He can't just go around kissing girls that he's not dating. I mean, what kind of jerk does that? It's appauling. I am appauled.

3:21 am
And a bit giddy.

3:24 am
Shut up Kelsey.

3:33 am
It'll only get worse when I get to sleep.

The Pee Dance + Zipperless Pants.

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 22:44:17 GMT

Bus
6:53 am
Brat #1 enters bus with a scowl on her pruny little face.

6:55 am
She sits down roughly, like a pre-teen would slam a door. Oh, she has shown me.

School
7:45 am
Maddykins has returned to me, double yays and such.

7:56 am
I informed her of her brother's lack of manners when answering the phone. Plus, he likes to repeat things so much it makes you want to pull his scrawny neck through the receiver.

7:58 am
Which would not fit because his head is rather large.

7:59 am
Sort of like Mt. Rushmore.

8:11 am
Layna ripping on Justin's personality to emotional shreds. He is due a few good kicks in his baby juicers by now.

8:18 am
Witnessed special public sex, which is not appealing in the least, even if it sounds like it is.

8:20 am
It's like 8th grade all over again. When the football games were simply distractions from the tranny man women who lurked in the shadows of the bleachers.

8:21 am
Like Kimmy Puberty. What with her deep voice and strong hands.

9:00 am
Hobo Chicken Leg has gone rapper overnight. Or so he says.

9:01 am
I just cannot make myself believe it.

10:16 am
Oh Lord. Hobo Chicken Leg has decided to make a video of us all dancing to his latest rap track. This consists of the "Q Tip" the "Chicken Dance" and other unmentionables.

10:20 am
Also a white boy walking around holding a fishing pole.

10:25 am
But Mr. Asian won't join in.

10:26 am
Too bad. Lauryn wanted to spread the butter all over his backside.

10:29 am
I wish she would stop oogling him.

10:46 am
Sausage link did not change my grade. Instead, he left the space totally blank. Why must I live under the tyranny of that egg headed prick in a button down tee?

10:47 am
Because the school system is a joke and a skidmark, that's why.

11:13 am
Speaking of Mexican violence at WalMart. Everyone suspects Greg.

11:15 am
Personally, I think it's Mr. Asian. They always pick the cute and innocent looking ones.

11:53 am
Frenchie class is always so very sluggish. It drags and drags on and on like a dragging thing.

11:54 am
Or a drag queen.

11:55 am
Much like Mr. Boosum.

12:25 pm
Crazy Bird Lady isn't showing off her naked ankles today, maybe she's found proper dress wear. You know, the kinds that fit.

12:30 pm
Another painful French video. They are made to help us learn French in the French way. Apparently it will help us communicate with the people. But if the real Frenchies look like the ones in the video, I'll never step foot in that country.

12:35 pm
Mainly for fear of running into Hector, the git who's hair forms a diving board off his forehead.

12:36 pm
On the bright side, if he were in a plane wreck, he could shelter the entire cabin of survivors.

1:31 pm
Greg is mumbling to himself, probably about how he's suffocating in the closet he's closed himself in.

1:32 pm
And the hanger stabbing in his side.

1:33 pm
Which he deserves.

2:00 pm
Starla having panic attack over missing one day of chemistry. Had to slap her 'round a bit to calm her down before she keeled over.

2:02 pm
She's bleeping.

2:03 pm
I'd be comforting her if it weren't so hilarious.

2:15 pm
Sandwhich threw her pencil at my skull because she is mad. She disagrees, even though she clearly is.

2:16 pm
Tourettes strike again.

2:50 pm
Brain dead due to combustion and other tres tres unimportant things.

2:52 pm
Like phosphoric acid and laxatives.

3:13 pm
My ears will be leaking brain fluid any day now.

3:14 pm
That's a bit gross. I doubt it would look very attractive.

5:30 pm
Kidnapped by Lydia, who drove me off into the sunset to her little nest.

Midnight
If only I could sleep some, then maybe I wouldn't go to school looking like a big-eyed loonie, a.k.a, Creeping Creepster.

Blowing Vs. Blowing Kisses.

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:47:29 GMT

Bus
6:59 am
A piece of my hair keeps falling into my eye, waking me, since it feels a bit like tiny midgets prodding me with their swords. Which are obviously tooth picks to normal humans.

7:00 am
Not that I'm a midget basher.

7:01 am
They just scare me.

7:02 am
Don't give me that look! They could bite your ankles.

School
7:34 am
Zac Efron in better mood. I bet his lover of hidden and forbidden love rendez-voused to his house last night.

7:35 am
What a fake straight whore.

7:40 am
Zac Efron brought me breakfast. At first, I almost refused, but then King Kong sounded from my stomach.

7:41 am
No one heard that.

7:42 am
Right?

8:05 am
Attacked by exxie in homeroom, where I was reading and not harming anyone, when she burst in with a little present wrapped in paper towel. My first instinct was to throw it out the window and cower under the desk.

8:06 am
No ticking noise.

8:08 am
Opened the alarming package to find a few crackers. She's trying to win me back with carbs. I have become Polly.

8:10 am
Then she threw a book at me, and ruffled my hair.

8:11 am
I shall never understand her.

9:16 am
Mrs. Tourettes must be contagious. Every time she does her little twitch thing, my foot taps some.

9:18 am
I wonder when the beast from within will come out. If I'm lucky, she'll chunk a desk at Mr. Sasquatch the SoccerStrap before end of the year. Oh, what a sight that would be.

9:19 am
As long as he is still located on the other side of the classroom then.

9:20 am
If not, I'm going to need a 5 minute warning.

10:05 am
Sausage link has a talent for putting me in the worst mood ever. I bet he put spy ware and other lovely viruses on his computers so that honest hard working people like myself can't make an A in his class.

10:06 am
Unless they let him touch their breasts or something.

10:07 am
Since he stares so much and all.

10:50 am
Nearing hysterics. No time to finish project and a teacher who is a half-wit and a possible molester.

10:51 am
If I hand Lauryn over, will he give us a 100?

10:52 am
Bad Kelsey. I cannot just throw her to the dogs.

10:53 am
Or can I?

10:54 am
Maybe she could beat him off with something, like Jelloid Bray.

10:55 am
That would be a little dangerous, I do think.

11:10 am
Lunch, a.k.a, le grand garçon cogne. It's so nice to be with a group of other troubled mature teen females who think that boys are simply the poo in the open toilet, as I do.

11:15 am
I've just realized that Zac Ef. hasn't said a single word. Surely he can't love his man that much.

11:20 am
Still nothing. Oh la la, surely he is in deep, deep amore.

11:21 am
Which is sad, considering they haven't even gone public yet with their, well, gayness.

11:32 am
Chatting with Zac Ef. and Lady Midge about the grossest piercings available. Why we feel the need to do this in a public eatery, I'll never know.

11:33 am
Not like the lunch room isn't revolting without our help anyways.

11:34 am
I thougth I spotted a rat, but it was only Mrs. SuckFaceStalker.

11:35 am
She honestly does look like a rat.

11:36 am
With freckles and overly gelled hair.

11:37 am
And the constant smell of butt as a favorite perfume scent.

12:23 pm
If Zac Ef. pokes me again, I may just have to whirl around and punch him in the adam's apple.

12:25 pm
Calm, Serene. You are at peace with the world Kelsey. Ignore the big headed Mexican behind you that keeps prodding at your spine as if you are an amoeba in a petri dish.

12:26 pm
Calm, Serene, Peace.

12:28 pm
I slapped him and he yelled. What? My peace lasted a good few minutes. Besides, I bet Ghandi never had to deal with this nonsense.

1:55 pm
Mrs. Butt hair has returned. She knows of my hate for her being well, because as soon as I saw her, my eyes went all aflame, and I'm pretty sure that my nostrils flared in my distain.

2:03 pm
She informs us that she was sick over the entire break. Ha dee ha ha ha times infinity. That is just what you get when you twaddle and waddle about the front of a class room and have the nerve to call yourself a teacher.

2:05 pm
Especially when the class doesn't want you.

2:10 pm
Notes again, le grande surprise. I will surely get carpal tunnel at this pace. And due to the dim headed so-called 'principal', the school won't even be able to afford the surgery when I sue them into the poor school house. Ha ha ha.

2:11 pm
Wait, is that even possible?

2:12 pm
Since a school can't really move to a poor house, since it's a school, and not a person, or something like that.

2:13 pm
Oh, it's all the same. I'll just sue them greatly, and aim to make him cry.

2:39 pm
Groups for a 'Criminal Mind' activity. I truthfully do not want to know what these mad children will think of. Everyone's answers are going to end up like a game of clue, only worse. Like 'Mr. Maxwell Moneybags was stabbed through the ear with a sharpened tampon by his mistress Patty Period.'

2:41 pm
Although that makes it sound like he was having an affair with a period.

2:42 pm
Is a person even physically capable of that?

2:43 pm
Ew, I don't want to know.

3:00 pm
My phone is dying. I think it might have a terminal form of Old-as-dirt-itis. Of course my Dad thinks I'm super dramatic and have no need for a new phone. When it crumbles into dust particles and blows off into the wind, he shall see.

3:15 pm
Big Gee the 'dunce of the south' almost made the class have to stay after. I should kick him in the shin again, since it's about the only thing I can reach.

3:16 pm
Since he is quite literally the green giant.

3:17 pm
Minus the greeness.

Bus
3:28 pm
Another spat with one of the many obnoxious children I am forced to deal with. Why must these things put the window down? It's called air conditioning, and we have it. Just because I am headed home does not mean they have the right to make my hair into an afro beehive.

3:30 pm
Had to smack a hand down when they attempted to open it again.

3:33 pm
They've moved up a seat and let down the window after what seemed like a million years of the brattier one glaring at me in a hilarious way that made her look like she needed to take a poo.

3:35 pm
TayTay has dubbed her Fishy Face, on acount of her eyes being so far apart.

3:37 pm
Conversating about fish, and that one kind that has the two eyes on one side. We wonder how it would be if a person had those eyes.

3:38 pm
We try it out, turning completely 'round to talk to one another. Awkward, but tres tres amusante.

3:40 pm
The brat is repeating everything we say all because I told her "Thank you for making my day!". What a rude reaction. Most would say "You're Welcome." I'm sure that would do.

3:41 pm
Fishy Face keeps yelling random names like "Stupid Redhead" and "Meanie Face". I feel like saying "Oh, the pain you bring to my heart is unbearable. " but she's much too light in the brain department to understand my ruthless sarcasm.

3:42 pm
So instead I laugh at her, as well as the little crack baby sitting behind me.

3:45 pm
Crackhead Baby tries to lick the side of the bus. She must enjoy the taste of the window, because she refuses to stop tongueing it.

3:46 pm
I bet her mum taught her that.

3:47 pm
How heart-warming. A mum who raises the future prostitutes of America.

3:50 pm
Too much laughing, so TayTay announces that she has got a cramp in her throat, which starts us off all over again.

3:55 pm
Still laughing. I really must learn how to live without breathing, as I am trying to so often.

4:02 pm
Leaving the bus I heard the Fish-Out-Of-Water shout out "FISHY FACE!" Oh how hilarious you are, young one, you've learned the ways of the Parrot. Maybe I'll clean out your feathers later. I mean your gills.

8:00 pm
My Vampy Squirt calls to tell me that Corey, a.k.a, le douce une baggie, has decided to break her little heart before he even fully had it.

8:05 am
And now he's off to bang a child of only 14 years of age, what a ladies' man, if you count the ball pin at Chuck E. Cheese's.

8:27 pm
Realized that Larry, the pelvic thrusting fool, looks much like a Butterball chicken. After it's gotten a bit burnt at the top.

8:30 pm
Had a bit of a tithey with mum while on the phone. She's ludicrous if she thinks I know what every pair of my underwear look like. It ended with me yelling "I am ever so sorry that I've got better things to do than inspect every inch of my panty drawer!"

8:33 pm
Talking Alex into bribing Zac Ef. out of the closet by using his body as the bait. He keeps refusing even though I keep complimenting by saying things like "But you'd be such a good little seductress." People these days just don't appreciate kindness like they used to.

8:36 pm
My talking to him is totally normal, but every text I send, I almost ask him out.

8:37 pm
But I never will.

8:38 pm
Especially since my dad would nail me to the side of my truck if I did.

8:39 pm
And how easy can life be when you've got a chevy attached to your back? Not very easy, that's how.

8:56 pm
Decided to print a few writings, which somehow turned into about 50. If mum finds them she will surely put me to death by stoning.

8:58 pm
And I don't mean a frivolous evening of dope and Pink Floyd.

10:35 pm
Alex will be the death of me. If I simply say "You're cute." it turns into this huge ordeal. He's such a hot tempered little boy. At least he's got an appealing smile.

10:45 pm
Whitty banter with Layna, as we are both in a slight male frenzy. Her masterful plan to tease some poor bloke inspires me to shut the door on Mr. Matthew.

10:47 pm
Me and Layna should have our own talk show. Yes, we really are that hilarious.
"Is he still annoying you, LayLay?"
"Not really, I think the conversation may be over."
"You seem a bit confused."
"Yes, well, he's disappeared."
"I bet he's off jerking his 'how's your father?' now."
"Ah. Well I'll be blowed."
It's a tiny morsel sad how normal our abnormal conversations are.

11:09 pm
Alex explodes in a fit of joy about my new hair. "You're so cute!" is repeated numerous times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:11 pm
Now he's ordering me to take more pictures for him. He's being ever so greedy.

11:13 pm
It won't kill me to snap a few though...

11:16 pm
I asked Alex for a picture in return.
"What kind of picture?"
"I wasn't aware there were different kinds."
"There are."
"Well, what are they?"
"Normal, and then nudes."
"Oh yes, Alex, I want a snapshot of you with your 'how's your father?' in plain view. Honestly, you should know better. Keep your clothes on, thanks."
Why must he be so bludgeonly impossible?

11:18 pm
I say bludgeonly because trying to get through to him is like being bludgeoned to death with a piece of hardened playdough.

11:41 pm
According to Adrienne, I am a whore of men's minds. I try to reason with her, that I am not the queen of love she believes me to be, but she refuses to back down.
"You've got a very active love life."
"You do make me sound like I'm falling on the prostitute side love, could you maybe tone it down a notch?"

Midnight
Teasing Alex with my masterful French skills.

12:10 am
And now he is ordering me to go to bed. What a total prat. I don't listen to my own father, what makes him think I'll listen to him?

12:12 am
Oh, right, I adore him.

12:30 am
Oh la la! Deux merde et poo-ey.

We're God's Comedy Act.

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:24:20 GMT

Home
5:45 am
Woken by Hayley Williams at the crack of pre-dawn. I offcially hate her now.

5:50 am
Not enough will power to pull me out of bed. I started to get up, but only fell. I am like an old lady.

5:51 am
With Tres Magnifique hair.

5:52 am
And an unwrinkled le vagh, if you know what I mean.

6:10 am
I have no pants. I shall become Captian Underpants within mere days. Oh, the joys of heroism.

Bus
6:40 am
Entering the bus in pajama pants. They are plaid. Underwear might be more appealing.

6:43 am
Who am I kidding? No one wants to be near the Creeping Creepster in la naturele . He'd most likely jump and hump, giving into his animal ancestory.

6:46 am
Which is probably part ape and part rhinoceres.

6:47 am
And part hideous unknown creature.

7:00 am
Struggling to see since Mr. Goodman, bus driver and closeted ipod Nazi, will harpoon me if he sees the smallest shred of light. If my eyes twinkled he's probably chain me to the front grill.

7:01 am
I don't see why it bothers him so much, unless it reflects off his large bald spot, blinding him.

7:03 am
Actually, the 'spot' is quite large, so it's more like a bald field, or country.

7:04 am
And he already drives like he's blind; running over curbs and plowing down mail boxes and small children.

7:55 am
Deep fried Zac Efron seems depressed, probably missing his boyfriend, who was so rudely ripped away after the pharmacy-in-baggie fiasco.

8:00 am
Sadly, he probably spends his nights yearning and dreaming and whatever else homos in denial do for their fantasy men.

9:08 am
Creeping Creepster has made it his personal goal in life to never be the least bit attractive. To celebrate St. Patty's Day he donned a nappy wig that's so bright, I am sure he can be seen from space.

9:09 am
Poor bloody aliens.

9:45 am
If Hobo Chicken Leg doesn't stop talking, I may have a coniption, right here, on this disgusting floor.

9:46 am
Or I could seizure up to the office.

9:48 am
He's got us doing color wheels. In one minute, he's knocked me all the way back to Pre-K.

9:49 am
I demand a nap.

9:50 am
And maybe some Juicy Juice.

10:30 am
Sausage link has adopted an Irish accent, which makes his usual vomit of speech even more impossible to understand. Oh, how I'd like to wrap that shamrock tie around his neck a few times.

11:21 am
The horrid Tostito of my past used the whole hour of la classe de francais to disturb us all. Every time he shifts, or breathes, we all hear crackling. There seems to be something down his pants. It sounds like a small animal.

11:22 am
Or a homeless man.

11:49 am
Witnessed him shoving ice down his front. Awkward moments, they have become my life.

12:23 pm
Marina is obsessed with feeding me. She almost shoved a fry up my right nostril, and dropped ketchup on my crotch.

1:11 pm
Reading Lord of the Flies in Lit class. William Golding deserves to be stones, tarred, feathered, and then drowned.

1:13 pm
Along with the git who wrote Moby Dick.

1:15 pm
And Nicholas Cage.

1:30 pm
The math and science hall smells like Ceasar salad tossed with bad eggs. How are we 'spose to learn in the dumpster of rotten buffets?

1:48 pm
I bet Alex is still in bed.

1:49 pm
With Jessie.

1:50 pm
With a huge flaming blunt.

1:53 pm
I'd like to light her on fire.

1:55 pm
No one gave her permission to turn my Alex into a babbling stoner with a cute face.

1:56 pm
I hope he likes my hair.

1:57 pm
Not that I'll care if he doesn't.

1:58 pm
Not that I'll cry.

1:59 pm
Oh Hush. He'll love it because it's attached to me and doesn't involve alcohol.

2:00 pm
Or another boy.

2:02 pm
Mr. Boosum lecturing on imaginary numbers and equations. He keeps making his voice all high pitched and doing a little spirit fingers dance thing. What a queer.

2:05 pm
And I mean that in the cruelest way possible.

3:03 pm
Mrs. Butt hair still sick, ha ha ha. Maybe she's come down with a nose infection, which, due to the size and bendiness of her nose, would land her glued on a hospital bed. Or she could have lost her rice necklace, and grown a tumor.

3:31 pm
Mr. Asian smiles and waves when TayTay lickes her lips at him. Must note that Koreans apparently enjoy sexual harassment.

3:37 pm
Breaking news! Mr. Asian actually does speak English, and he always leaves one head phone out, so he has heard everything. This includes comments on his "how's your father?" and his buttox region. Plus TayTay going on and on about how much she digs Asian guys.

3:39 pm
I wonder if he caught me checking out his caboose.

3:41 pm
If he did, I'll deny everything.

4:16 pm
Madame le beech gave me homework that I do not feel like attempting. If she gets fired I'll be free from her dictatorship of bad accents and high water pant legs.

8:46 pm
Alex has started up his own baby-making factory. Doesn't one need a license for these sort of things?

8:50 pm
I bet he's sold a few on the black market.

11:12 pm
Alex's factory has been shut down, what a short reign. Too bad I'm still going to treat him like the baby-dealing fraud that he is.

11:13 pm
But he's rather sweet.

11:14 pm
And flirtacious in a really irresistable way.

11:15 pm
That I can, er, resist?

Stay In School, Avoid The Boys.

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:41:08 GMT

If we are,
we could be,
we would be,
but we're not,
so why not?
is this plot,
dead in the water
like a fish without it?

So I'm guessing your intentions,
your emotions,
your afflictions,
since you can't
just speak out
and speak to
that's not you.

So I'm second guessing myself,
and my thoughts,
and my hopes,
and my wants,
and my needs,
but I don't even know the difference.

Since I want to be yours
and I need to be yours,
does that make me indecisive
or just plain in love?

But if I'm in love,
then out of,
being in hate,
which is great,
but not as
sweet and soothing
as a love that makes me lovely,
until it confuses me.

Why is this
such a game
that we play
that we lose
that we make
when it's life
and life doesn't give out chances,
but reasons to quit.

It's not enough to say
that I'm twisted up
and messed up
and left with nothing but a crush
which is crushing me.

Hiding And Seeking And Getting Nowhere.

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 02:53:00 GMT

These high school boys are stuck in 1st grade hide and seek.

Now you see me,
Now you don't.

I'm in love with you today,
and tomorrow,
we'll hardly speak.

I'll kiss your hand,
I'll call you baby,
and next week I won't call at all.

I can't live without you,
I couldn't make it alone,
but I could make it with someone else.

These lost souls are stuck in empty shelved bodies.

Now you find me,
Now you lose me again.

I'm here,
I'm here,
but I won't be when you wake up.

I don't have the heart to walk away,
which means I don't have the heart to stay.

Which means I don't have a heart.

Which makes me heartless.

These over stimulated,
over used,
over thought processed teenage hearts are pumping over time.

I want to love because I heard it was great,
because it's what you want to hear,
because it's what we do to pass the minutes,
pass the clock,
pass the lives by,
because we're not living.

I want to live because I'm young and I won't be forever,
so I strive to die young,
from living too strong,
and over the edge from which I'll drop from.

I want to fly because I know high,
I know drugged,
I know bruised lips and knees and hearts
and stripped stockings.

These high school boys are stuck in 1st grade hide and seek.

Now you see me,
Now you don't.

The Process Of Choking On Air.

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:19:56 GMT

Bus
6:41 a.m.
Substitute driver. He smiles and says "Good Morning." I glare and say "Nyuck."

7:17 a.m.
Children still in control of vehicle. Most likely will take on prisoners. I wonder if they'd even tie them under the bus, like in a Rambo movie. Or possibly dangle the driver from the windshield like an air fresherner. Scent: Wrinkles & Such.

7:25 a.m.
Awake. Asleep. Awake. Asleep. Awake. Asleep. Awake.

7:28 a.m.
Woke up and didn't know where I was. Then a kid ran into my seat and I was reminded of my sad current state, the road to hell.

School
7:45 a.m.
Mexican in bad mood. I very kindly handed him my trash and he handed it back with his lips all straight-lined like King Kong when the planes were pissing him off. I passed it back, so did he. This went on for awhile, until I threw it, and it landed under someone else's table.

7:47 a.m.
I should probably go get it.

7:49 a.m.
But I could trampled to death by a rouge fit of feet tourettes, and my life is much more valuable than a 5 cent juice cup.

7:50 a.m.
In other words, I'm leaving it for the custodians because I have a disease.

7:51 a.m.
What do I have? Well, it's called lazyness and it is super serious.

8:23 a.m.
Chemistry will be the death of me. Actually, if all goes according to plan, Mr. Boosum will go first. I can see it in the news already, "Chem teacher hurt in fatal lab accident".

8:25 a.m.
We have lab today. The greatness of America.

8:30 a.m.
Scratch that, I hate this place.

9:05 a.m.
Art room. The floor is a blackish, brownish, yellowish mixture that I can only say looks a lot like a bucket of sickness. I think there is white tiling under there somewhere.

9:07 a.m.
Hah, good luck finding it.

9:10 a.m.
I wonder if Mr. Manning ever leaves the classroom. I can see him squatting out in there, like his on little slice of hobo heaven. I mean, it does have running water and heat.

9:11 a.m.
I am never coming to the school at night. I would probably catch Manning watching porn on the Smart Board, with Mr. Crooks in tow.

9:12 a.m.
Ew, Ew, Ew. Remind me to wash my brain later.

9:45 a.m.
Finished my cheat sheet for the terrifying Chem test. Mr. Boosum would be proud.

9:46 a.m.
Too bad I couldn't care less about that thing.

10:01 a.m.
iPod is dying. I hate that little red mark in the battery, it's freaks me out. Whenever I see it, it kind of feels like I am going to die if I don't get charged up.

10:02 a.m.
No, I am not a robot, I am just saying.

10:03 a.m.
If I were one Adrienne wouldn't speak to me. She's got this big phobia against them, because apparently they'll take over the world when we're off getting high and shooting each other. Personally, if my computer attacks me, it's going to end up melted into small trash can and a pack of Trojans.

10:50 a.m.
International Club is a joke. The year is almost over and all we have done is tried some soupy rice gunk and these bananas that tasted like rocks. This makes me want to travel oh so much.

10:51 a.m.
Not in the slightest.

10:59 a.m.
Hyper lady makes up a game. She hits the bell and we have to yell out a phrase in a different language. She does it randomly during our conversations so she can see how trained our ears are. Beautiful, we have all become house dogs. Next thing you know she'll be throwing sticks over our heads and telling us to play dead in German.

11:11 a.m.
CreepingCreepster should seriously get a different lunch period. I don't think I can handle much more of his blatant disregard for my personal space, etc. I'm surprised he hasn't helped himself to my lap yet. It would not shock me, at this point, if he just waltzed over, and sat down on me.

11:13 a.m.
Please God don't let him do that. I'll be nice to Greg, I promise.

11:15 a.m.
Greg eats like an open blender, pieces of everything flying off, it's truly disgusting.

11:16 a.m.
Ok, Ok, I'll try to be nice to Greg.

11:17 a.m.
When I feel like it.

11:18 a.m.
When he's not being so annoying.

11:19 a.m.
And his breath doesn't make me dizzy.

11:22 a.m.
Oh, forget it. Bring CC on down, my legs are cold anyways.

12:00 p.m.
Crazy Bird Lady has flown the coop. Everyone in class thinks that her 'personal reasons' of being absent are being spent in a strip joint somewhere. Of course, she's the one on the stage, not the one in the audience. We must assume so after her little performance at the school concert. I 'spose that only students have to be appropriate now. Next thing you know we'll have professers in hooker boots up to their necks and name tags that read "Call me Candy."

12:15 p.m.
Substitute is holding us hostage. We aren't even allowed to drink. Is this a school or a refugee camp?

1:27 p.m.
You know what's the best sound in the world? Greg being silent.

1:29 p.m.
He's ruined it. Alas, all great things must come to an end.

1:33 p.m.
Unless I hit him over the head with something extremely heavy. What to use..?

1:36 p.m.
All I have is a bent book, a bundle of straws, an empty TicTac box, and pink brush. I am defenseless.

1:39 p.m.
Not even one mint to lessen my grief?

1:50 p.m.
Dragging my way to Chemistry. Lab day, woo hoo. Maybe I'll even get that horrid chemically smell on my hands that doesn't seem to come off until you scrub the old skin off and grow it back.

2:20 p.m.
I thought I would have my chance today, but when we asked what kind of chemicals we were using, he smiled like the weirdo he is and whispered "Laxatives." Honestly! How am I 'spose to work my magic with what little he's giving me? Laxatives? How do you burn someone severely with laxatives?

2:22 p.m.
I could slip them into his Diet Cokes when he was dancing over the table tops like he does.

2:24 p.m.
It would be pretty amusing.

2:25 p.m.
And you can't get convicted for 'intent to poop'.

2:37 p.m.
Yelling match with Mr. Boosum. Apparently I am a cynic.

2:39 p.m.
Well apparently he is, le douce.

2:44 p.m.
Almost lit my hair on fire. These close calls are going to give me a heart attack. Must stop using so much hair spray.

2:46 p.m.
Can't do it. I might very well live off of the fumes. If I stop, I'll be dead, and that would be a big mess that I don't wanna go into. So, I think I'll continue my excessive use of it.

2:48 p.m.
And stay away from flames.

2:55 p.m.
Is it possible for them to make me flame retardent?

3:16 p.m.
Just me and Mr. Boosum in an empty classroom. I think it's safe to say I've never felt more awkward in my entire life.

3:18 p.m.
Mr. Boosum asks me something about staying after to finish the lab. I pretend to be concentrating on a blank piece of paper I found.

3:20 p.m.
Test time. I am more worried about how long I'll be stuck here with him than what I make on the test.

3:21 p.m.
At least there are others here now. Other...witnesses.

4:12 p.m.
Freed from the 'Boosum House Of Doom'. I will never stay after in there again.

4:30 p.m.
In line for ring orders. My dad is acting just as childish as my classmates. I told him people will think he's a stoner. He just sighed and rolled his eyes back into his head.

5:00 p.m.
My parents won't let me get a male ring, because my hands are too tiny.

5:01 p.m.
Curse tiny hands.

5:02 p.m.
And the Whopper commercial that ended my life.

Home
5:33 p.m.
Is it possible to get cancer from being at school too much?

5:34 p.m.
If it is, I totally have it.

6:00 p.m.
Mum in cleaning frenzy because we're having guests tomorrow. Every time someone comes over it's like Jesus' arrival. She'd probably roll a red carpet out if we had one.

6:05 p.m.
My room is apparently on the grand tour, which means I have to clean it.

6:06 p.m.
If I pile everything into the closet they'll never know the difference. Evil genius at work here.

7:00 p.m.
Alex is acting all weird. I think he might be dating his ex again.

7:01 p.m.
I hate her.

7:02 p.m.
And her clown make-up.

7:03 p.m.
And how saddish she is.

7:15 p.m.
And don't forget her lack of heart, oops, I mean sympathy.

7:17 p.m.
Does she have no heart or is it just so iced over that you can't tell?

7:19 p.m.
Either way, she's got no feelings.

7:25 p.m.
Matthew Stephen Gee has erased all my annoyances and pissed-off-dedness.

7:27 p.m.
Now all I need is a kiss or two and I'll be in mint condition.

8:00 p.m.
Madalyn is giving Mr. SexPants some competition. I should warn him or something.

8:01 p.m.
"Hey, this is that girl who's friends with that girl that's friends with Marina. Rose thinks you're the bee knees and since you never give her a chance to drool over you, she's moving on to another cutie. Just thought you'd wanna know....No this isn't a joke."

8:02 p.m.
I'm sure that conversation would go well.

8:25 p.m.
I hate this, having to be happy for him when what he wants is going to make him miserable in the end. But I am being supportive, and I am looking past the fact that she's a terrible person.

8:27 p.m.
God better be happy with my great friendness.

8:30 p.m.
These things are no easy task, mind you.

8:45 p.m.
Can frienships ever go back to normal when they speak of fertilizing you?

8:50 p.m.
I didn't think so.

9:30 p.m.
I have a sexy radar. It's not picking you up.